Moon Over My Hammy

Chicken Wing Shortages And Flaming Squirrels - Signs Of Armageddon?

So, when I was checking out CNN.com the other day, a story caught my attention:

Buffalo Wiings in short supply

Apparently,  we are in the midst of a chicken wing shortage.  How is it that there is a shortage of chicken wings and not chicken legs?  Is someone somewhere breeding wingless chickens?  If so, then this might be the best example of using science for evil-forget stem cell research-when we start breeding wingless chickens, it's all over!

Then I saw this headline: Flaming Squirrel To Blame In Jones Wildfire.  Now, you have to know that this took place in rural Oklahoma (which is redundant, since ALL of Oklahoma is rural). Can you imagine the reactions?

"Damn those squirrels!  First it was the gay pride parade and now the Jones County wildfire!"

"Next thing you know, we'll all be dressin' in snappy fedoras and sippin' lattes!"

"I tell you what, Joe Sam, it'll be a cold day in hell before I trade in my pick up truck for a Prius!"

I wonder if the squirrel looked something like this:

Download Sexysquirrel

Ashley Horner Speaks Out: First Installment

So I know y'all have been waiting for "Ashley Speaks Out".  Well, thangs have been crazy for the past couple of months....moving cross country, new job, etc.....So, enough excuses.   Here it is. I've been thinking a lot about things I can rant and rave about.  Well, I could fill up several pages with my ranting and ravings, and secretly I think Mike gave me this little blurb on his website as an outlet so that he won't have to listen to my rantings and ravings.  Right now I'm too preoccupied to feel passionate about any one particular thing, so I'm going to going to give a little rant about words that I currently hate.  Yes, I know it sounds boring, but when I hear these words I just want to light myself on fire. So here it is....my list of most-hated words of all time...

1.) spendy.....rhymes with mindy.  Really, why can't you just say that it's expensive?  Too many syllables?
2.) Co-wink-ke-dink-the bastardized pronunciation of coincidence.  Need I say more?
3.) metrosexual...now I this seems like a word that I might like....a word that describes a man that actually cares about the way he looks, so much so that, as a woman, you feel that you must hide your face/hair/body products for fear that he might pirate them....I've been looking for a word like this for  years but for some reason, when I saw Matt Lauer use this word on the "Today Show", it completely lost all credibility with me...

OK so this is the first installment...there is more to come to come...I have a Stars Wars rant percolating even as we speak....nerdy?  Perhaps.  But these are things that need to be said (George Lucas are you listening?).......

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta!

Ash

Ashley Horner Speaks Out: Introduction

So Ashley has agreed to periodically submit something or me to post on any topic she likes.  I promised not to edit or alter or anything else - just post it as she sends it to me.  In honor of my good buddy Michael Horner I am calling it Ashley Horner Speaks Out. 

No word yet on when I will get the first installment, so stay tuned.