Moon Over My Hammy

I Just Got An Unsolicited E-Mail From A Store Called "Living Large"

These guys are apparently trying to tell me something.

Among the items available for purchase:

• A "new and improved" stool with 1,000 lb capacity.  1,000 pounds!!?? - interestingly, the stool has wheels.  That seems to be encouraging inactivity.
• Car seat belt extender - my car seat belt stretches an extra long way, like past the steering wheel - how do people this large fit into cars in the first place?
• Heavy duty beach chair with sun visor - 650 lb capacity!! - do we really want to encourage people this large to head to the beach?

Perhaps Americans have gotten a bit on the heavy side.

Man, While People Write About Peyton Manning's Legacy . . .

Saints players have to put up with crap stories like this:

http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/story/12874836/eckels-murky-navy-exit-leaves-shadow-over-super-bowl-appearance

Wall Street Journal Attacks Plaintiff Trial Lawyers

An article in today's Wall Street Journal takes aim at plaintiff's trial lawyers, arguing that evil, greedy trial lawyers buy access to local officials by donatiing to their campaign.  While that may be true, it is interesting that, once again, the evil trial lawyers are made out to be the boogey man responsible for society's ills.  I am curious as to why the Wall Street Journal didn't similarly talk about corporate donations to political campaigns.  Because if they had, I think they would find that corporate political donations dwarf those of plaintiff's lawyers, probably by 100 to 1.

These attacks are insiduous, and they taint jury pools, which is one of the main points of articles like these.  Thanks to "exposes" like this, I am branded a liar the minute I stand up in front of the jury, and it is an up-hill process just to establish a baseline of credibility.

Do You People Really Like These Talking Baby Commercials?

I do not.  I think they are:

(1) not funny;

(2) creepy; and

(3) stupid.

But I am starting to think I am very much in the minority on this, because they keep making commercials with talking babies.

I sort of thought this had run its course with the "Look Who's Talking Now!" series of movies that came out years ago.

But just this morning on one of the morning news shows they were talking about Super Bowl commercials, and I guess there is a new talking baby commercial coming out.  I didn't really watch it, but when they cut back to the news people, they were both just chuckling away, as if this talking baby commercial they just saw was just a hoot.

Can someone explain the appeal to me?

Crappiest Website of 2009: UPDATE

This morning I discovered yet another crappy aspect of the Gray Police Department website.  The website contains THE WRONG DAMN ADDRESS! 

Tom McCarver Makes The World Series Unwatchable

I had planned not to watch any of the World Series this year.  I hate the Phillies only slightly less than I hate the Yankees.  Ok, alot less, because my hate for the Yankees burns pretty hot.

But when the Phillies took game one in New York, iot picqued my interest.  Now I had something to care about - the Yankees getting embarassed in their brand new billion dollar stadium.

So I tuned into Game 2 last night.  And was greeted by the Grade A asshole, Tim McCarver.

It's like Tim McCarver doesn't want to appeal to the fans.  He insists on being a smug, asshole whenever he commentates.  And he is pretty much an idiot.  Yes, he understands the game, but at least once per inning he makes one of those "what the HELL is he talking about" comments.  The rest of the time he is telling us totally obvious shit, like "if you pitch to Ryan Howard you don't want to leave the ball right out over the middle of the plate, because Howard has alot of power."  Thanks for that, McCarver.

It's like if you took John Madden, took away all his charm, made him a complete asshole, locked him in a room for a year where the only people he talked to did nothing but tell him how awesome he was all day long, then gave him a terrible speaking voice, and stuck him on TV.  If you did that, that guy would still be better than Tim McCarver.

And what's the deal with sticking him with Joe Buck?  Joe Buck can be tolerable if he is paired with an "every man's" kind of commentator.  I mean, talking about smug assholes, Joe Buck is one of the biggest self-satisfied jerks on the planet.  Again, stick him in the booth with a common man, Joe six-pack type of former player, and Joe Buck isn't so bad.  And I guess that's what they think they have in Tim McCarver.  They are wrong.

Seriously, does anyone know anyone who likes Tim McCarver?  Exactly which segment of the population is he appealing to?  Grumpy old men, maybe?  Is there anyone in the all-important 18-35 y/o demographic that would put up with Tim McCarver?

Anyway, I gave it a shot, and tried to get into the World Series, but I couldn't.  Maybe if the Phillies get up by a  couple more games I will give it another go, but baseball lost a viewer for this series.  Nice work, Fox!

Chicago Is A Joke - UPDATE!

Apparently, I am not the only one who believes Chicago is a sewer and an utter embarassment.  This guy goes into a bit more detail about all the reasons Chicago sucks.  You know, apart from the rampant corruption that has defined it as a city.

Another thing I forgot to mention about Chicago when discussing the corruption is the shady back-room shenanigans that goes along with recruiting an inner-city Chicago kid to come play basketball at a college.  Wasn't there a documentary made years ago exposing this?

I know that seems like piling on, but it just popped into my head so I thought I would post it here.

The Olympics In Chicago? What Were We Thinking?

Man, I totally support Obama and think he is doing a fine job, overall, running the country but man what in the hell were we thinking in pushing Chicago as a legitimate contender for the Olympics.  I mean, Chicago?

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think Chicago?  The first word?  Unless it is all the fat asses slurping up all that Chicago food, likely your first thought was corruption.  Corruption of all shapes and forms.  I mean this is the city that is utterly INFAMOUS for multiple, high-level corruption.  Dead people voting for JFK.  The Chicago machine.  The freaking Chicago Black Socks THREW a world series years ago because they were bought off.  Not to mention the mafia ties and history that goes way back.

What else comes to mind?  The great Chicago fire?  The curse that is on the Chicago Cubs?  Polish sausage?

I mean Chicago, seriously?  The place is a sewer.  I laughed when New Orleans thought about making an Olympic bid years ago, but first of all no one actually took it seriously, and at least New Orleans is an international destination and knows how to throw a party. 

And of course what is going on right when we are submitting the Olympic bid?  High school kids being killed in the streets of Chicago.

It is hard to imagine a level on which Chicago isn't a complete and utter failure as a city.  The Bears won a Super Bowl, I guess. 

I like Obama, and I am a big fan of Jay Cutler, but other than that I find nothing redeeming about Chicago.  Perhaps I am a bit biased by my bad experiences there.  But seriously, Chicago is an utter embarassment.

Why Is "Tort Reform" Considered A Conservative Value?

In my copy of the Constitution, it says for civil lawsuits that "the right of trial by jury shall be preserved . . . ."  Aren't Republicans always talking about adhering to the Constitution?  So why are they pushing always so aggressively for tort reform, which is usually meant to abridge the right of trial by jury by taking issues out of the hands of a jury (caps on damages, procedural rules to keep you from getting to a jury, etc.)?

The Following Animals Are Ugly/Gross And Should Be Eliminated

1.    Scorpions

2.    Octopi

3.    Those orangutans with the big jowls

4.    Hairless cats

5.    Turkey vultures

6.    Manatees

Feel free to weigh in with any I may have missed.