God I hate Phoenix.
I mean, seriously, it is the worst damn place in America, and perhaps on earth.
Let's dispense with the obvious. It is hot. Damn hot. And worst of all, because of all of the stupid people that continue to populate this god-forsaken swath of land, it is actually getting hotter, and even starting to get humid in Phoenix. The extra heat comes from the miles of asphalt they continue to add to Phoenix. And from what I understand, evaporation from people's pools is causing moisure in the air. And everywhere you go they have these little misters hanging outside of businesses that I guess are supposed to make you feel cooler. All they really do is get you wet, make you even hotter, and piss you off. Man I hate Phoenix.
It sprawls. And when I say sprawl, I mean bigtime sprawl. The city just keeps spreading for miles and miles and miles with no end in sight.
It is ugly as hell. Where you don't see asphalt, all you see is dirt.
The people are horrible. They are self-absorbed, plastic surgery-getting, expensive-car driving rude assholes. In short, they behave as if they are from L.A., because most of them are. Which leads me to the point of this post.
I have thought long and hard about why anyone would move to this hell-hole, when, in my opinion, God could not have sent a clearer sign that human beings were not meant to live there. And the presence of more humans has done nothing but make things worse. My conclusion is that everyone that lives in Phoenix has been brainwashed.
Brainwashed, you ask? Yes, brainwashed. It hit me the last time I was there, which was one time too many. These people have been brainwashed to believe they are living in a smaller, more affordable version of L.A. I arrived at this conclusion when, within a couple of minutes, I saw a billboard for beach attire, and an ad for a boat. These people (Phoenicians?) have been convinced that they are living near a beach, when they are actually living in the middle of the desert. Next time you go to Phoenix (my condolences ahead of time) look around. Palm trees, beach stuff, Cali style architecture, etc. You'll see what I mean, and then you will vomit inside your mouth.
Of course, it could just be that these people are all insane. After all, you sort of have to be insane anyway to love L.A. so much that you are willing to settle for its bastard child.
